The 12 Character Fanfic Meme: Austen Edition

This had to be done. I had so much fun with the last opera version, I had to repeat the exercise, using characters written by my favourite author. That's right, Jane Austen. Nothing is sacred, after all. And there are TONNES of Austen fanfics, including numerous multi-novel crossovers.

Technicalities of this exercise:

• I chose two characters, one male and one female, from each of Austen's six finished novels. So convenient that she wrote 6 novels and this meme needs 12 characters!
• To avoid squicky incestuous pairings, I chose pairs of characters that are not related by blood. Not even first cousins, although Austen herself had no qualms about those (witness Fanny Price and Edmund Bertram).
• No child characters, for obvious reasons. Imagine ending up with Margeret Dashwood/Mr Wodehouse. ** Mind needs to be sandpapered
• No established couples that are married or engage in canon. That just makes things boring, no?
• Minimal number of central characters. The supporting characters need their day in the fanfic sun. So, no Lizzie, Darcy, Knightley or Anne Elliot, even though they are my favourite characters in Austen canon.
• I used Excel to randomly sort the characters into the order I am using for this exercise. I might have seen the questions before, but thanks to the random ordering, I have no idea what combinations will be thrown up.

The 12 Austen Characters:

1. Charlotte Lucas-Collines
2. James Dashwood
3. Henry Tilney
4. Mr Wodehouse
5. Jane Fairfax
6. Captain Benwick
7. Isabella Thorpe
8. Elizabeth Elliot
9. Lucy Steele
10. Tom Bertram
11. Mary Crawford
12. Mr Wickham

Here goes nothing!

Have you ever read a Six/Eleven (Benwick/Mary Crawford) fic? Do you want to?
No, can't say I have. Would I want to? Only if well-written. This is an unlikely pairing and their differences is great fodder for an imaginative writer. I can see how these two characters can fall for each other; she certain could be his type, at least. I think she might like his literary tastes, although not his tendency towards melancoly.

Do you think Four (Mr Wodehouse) is hot? How hot?
Errrrr, I really prefer NOT to think about Mr Wodehouse that way. I suppose he must have been quite attractive in his youth, to have produced Emma, who is by all accounts a young woman of pleasing countenance.

What would happen if Twelve (Mr Wickham) got Eight (Elizabeth Elliot) pregnant?
Hahaha. First off, I am so glad I didn't get a male pregnancy with this one. I can actually see these two having a steamy affair, and Elizabeth Elliot making sure that both kept a very tight lid on it. If Wickham got Miss Elliot pregnant, she would turn to Mrs Clay for a quickie abortion and probably not tell Wickham a thing.

Can you rec any fic(s) about Nine (Lucy Steele) ?
I have seen a few comedic pieces about Lucy Steele, but not read them myself. I guess she really is not on my fanfic radar.

Would Two (James Dashwood) and Six (Captain Benwick) make a good couple?
They would be temperamentally suited, but nothing much might ever get done because of their chronic passivity.

Five/Nine (Jane Fairfax/Lucy Steele) or Five/Ten (Jane Fairfax/Tom Bertram)? Why?
Jane Fairfax/ Tom Bertram. And not because this is a heterosexual pairing. Superficially, Tom Bertram bears some resemblance to Frank Churchill. Jane Fairfax likes her cads, I think. Lucy Steele is too lightweight and probably too silly for Jane On the other hand, I think Lucy Steele could like the Jane Fairfax "type" quite a lot, and both of them are great at keeping secrets, so who knows? For my money, though, Tom Bertram and his excesses are more Jane's cup of tea.

What would happen if Seven (Isabella Thorpe) walked in on Two (James Dashwood) and Twelve (Mr Wickham) having sex?
She'd plot to blackmail James Dashwood out of his fortune and spread vicious rumours about Wickham.

Make up a summary for a Three (Henry Tilney)/Ten (Tom Bertram) fic.
Two boys meet at Eton. Profligate Tom Bertram and charming Henry Tilney form a bond built on a shared ability to not take life too seriously. One weekend in the country, an encounter with a group of giggling girls send them running for cover ... and into each others' arms. (Hey, I am not a slasher by any means, but school-aged Henry and Tom engaging in a spot of experimentation is conceivable.)

Is there such a thing as One (Charlotte Lucas) /Eight (Elizabeth Elliot) fluff?
Well, this would make an interesting, and oddly plausible, femmeslash pairing, but not a fluffy one. Elizabeth Elliot is too sharp around the edges for fluff.

Suggest a title for a Seven (Isabella Thorpe)/Twelve (Mr Wickham) hurt/comfort fic.
"Relying on the Comfort of Hypocrites". I'd like to see this pairing happen; they are both so deliciously amoral.

What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four (Mr Wodehouse) to deflower One (Charlotte Lucas-Collins)?
** Choking ** Mr Wodehouse suffers from a rare ailment that can only be cured by his "taking" of a virgin (assuming that Charlotte hasn't married Mr Colllins yet).

Would anyone you know read Seven (Isabella Thorpe) slash?
I could think of people who might, yes.

Does anyone you know read Three (Henry Tilney) het?
Heh, a resounding yes. Much of the Republic of Pemberley would read Tilney het, I think. Even if the fic doesn't involve Catherine Moreland.

What might Ten (Tom Betram) scream at a moment of great passion?
"Oh, good Bertram!".

If you wrote a song-fic about Eight (Elizabeth Elliot), which song would you choose?
"My Way".

If you wrote a One /Six /Twelve (Charlotte Lucas / Captain Benwick / Mr Wickham) fic, what would the warnings be?
Threesome, slash, bondage (Charlotte/Wickham), suggested masochism (Benwick).

What might be a good pick-up line for Two (James Dashwood) to use on Ten (Tom Bertram)?
"Care to burn some money together?"

When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Jane Fairfax)?
About a year ago. It was a Jane/Frank missing moment fanfic about the circumstances behind their secret engagement.

What is Six's (Captain Benwick's) super-sekrit kink?
SM - the M part of it. I don't know why, but I get that vibe from him.

Would Eleven (Mr Wickham) shag Nine (Lucy Steele) ? Drunk or sober?
Hell, yes. And he wouldn't need to be drunk either. Neither would she, probably.

If Three (Henry Tilney) and Seven (Isabella Thorpe) get together, who tops?
Hahaha. A canon-possible pairing from Northanger Abbey. Isabella would like to imagine herself on top, but Henry would always get the upper hand on her.

One (Charlotte Lucas) and Nine (Lucy Steele) are in a happy relationship until Nine (Lucy Steele) suddenly runs off with Four (Mr Wodehouse). One (Charlotte Lucas) , broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven (Mary Crawford) and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve (Mr Wickham), then follows the wise advice of Five (Jane Fairfax) and finds true love with Three (Henry Tilney). What title would you give this fic?
"The Path to a Good Man is Paved with Hellish Encounters". I love how Charlotte has to get entangled with a bunch of Austen's most devious characters before ending up with her most likeable hero.

How would you feel if Seven (Isabella Thorpe)/Eight (Elizabeth Elliot) was canon?
Wow, Lisptick Lesbian Bitch Femmeslash heaven!